Lana Vu

These days, I’m stressed!

I can clearly feel that. 

I constantly feel my legs shilvering.

I second guess every single thing that I say to other people the moment right after the words come out. 

I feel very uncomfortable looking at images or hearing about news that is supposed to be positive. 

I either don’t feel connected or feel really judgmental towards people.

And I realized, it was my dark side being projected everywhere. 

The obsessiveness. The competitiveness. The ruthlessness. The selfishness.

I live every second wishing to be a person of value, thriving to create something meaningful and help others. Yet, these days, I don’t feel that way, or at least, I have a hard time finding out if I am creating anything of value or meaningful.

And then I realized, I am feeling so hard because I am trying to run away from myself. My dark self, to be exact.

I am a human.

Humans, just like everything else in this universe, have darkness and light. 

Humans have limits.

I am learning to accept the fact that there is only so much I can do. Or be. 

I am learning to accept the fact that I have down moments and it’s okay.

I am learning to accept the fact that I cannot always feel great about myself and that’s okay too.

I am learning to accept the fact that I cannot always make other people feel good, that there will be times I cannot deliver, I will make mistakes that disappoint people and myself. And that’s okay too.

I am learning to accept that I cannot always feel positive about myself, about people and about life, and that’s okay too. Just like Yin and Yang, Day and Night, Darkness and Light, Black and White, I am not flawless and not always good. 

I am learning to accept the fact that even though it is never my intention to hurt myself or other people – emotionally – there will be times that happens, which is my worst fear. And that’s okay too. 

Surprisingly, the moment I make peace with the fact that I am not perfect, that I am not flawless and I am not always a positive cheerful person, is exactly the moment I feel so free.

Perhaps this is the lesson that I have to keep learning and re-learning. 

I am still learning!

#shadowwork #shadowside #stressmanagement #stressrelease #darkside #darkself #selfreflection #selfacceptance #selfgrowth #carljung